"Two slices of ham, three slices of cheese, and a partridge in a pear tree."

1. It was turkey, not ham.
2. That's not how you do a countdown.
3. What happened to the two rolls and the one bottle of IBC root beer?

This has been sitting around as a draft for like six months now, and I'm only posting it now because I think it's great that I felt this was worth saving as a draft for like six months.