By day, I work at a church. I do a lot of girly projects, since part of my job is to assist the Director of Women's Ministries. My week is filled with butterfly graphics, swirly Photoshop brushes, feminine fonts, and the notion that all women enjoy cooking and tea parties and the color pink.

By night, I am a wannabe tough girl. I watch action movies and gritty television shows. I hold up my Nerf gun and wonder what it would be like to hold a real gun. I practice my grimace in the mirror, training my eyes to pierce through the very souls of my enemies.

But somehow, in the end, I am only effective in being a bitch when it comes to correcting the spelling and grammar of those who chat with me on AIM. I believe this is what the internet would call an "epic fail."