Q: What's red, shiny, and smells like fast food?

A: Your mom's mouth! (zing!) Or, perhaps, the new Kia Sedona in our garage, which my parents brought home today just in time for dinner. We christened it almost immediately by running out to Quizno's to spill crumbs all over the floor.

The next step, of course, is to come up with a name for this new van. The other vehicles in the family have awesomely uncreative names like "Mini" (yes, it's a minivan), "Squirt," and "Midnight." My Texas boys, on the other hand, have great vehicles like "El Guapo," "Moiya," and "The Three Cylinders of Fury" (a Geo Metro).

Essentially, you don't want to leave anyone in my family in charge of naming things. (Our cats are even named Carmel and Callico. Guess what color fur they have!) Therefore, I'm appealing to the more creative minds of the internet . . .

What would you name this vehicle?