Sneaky Pete

I frequently pass a tree and firewood place on the way to work. The business has one of those signs out front where you can change out the letters to spell whatever quirky message best suits your mood. The owners seem to struggle with a terrible sense of humor, and I always want to smash my head into a wall when I read their sign.

Here are three examples, starting with the one from last winter, followed by the one from this summer, and ending with the current one:

• "Our firewood roars, and we aren't lion!"
• "We're sweaty, and we're ready!"
• "For more information, call Pete."

The last one is what I saw this morning, which caused me to do a neck-breaking double-take. What happened, guys? Run out of horrible puns and slightly disturbing rhymes? And who is Pete? Is he the new, mean manager who decided to take a "more professional" approach to marketing?

These are the things that keep me up at night.