I speak for all of America and most of the internet when I say that making up band names is wicked fun. There is something intoxicating about the idea of an inside joke or a funny quip being publicized and idolized and immortalized as the name of a successful group of musicians, even though I don't think that dream has ever in the history of history actually become a reality.

That said, I would like to share with you the very short list of suggestions that my brother and I are putting forth, free of charge, for you and your rockin' friends to enjoy, use, mock, or otherwise employ. The first was a brainchild of our family reunion, and the rest were shamelessly stolen from a Jerry Seinfeld DVD. (Hey, you with the smirk. Put away the haterade.) Here goes:

• Funky Melon
• The Involuntary Luge
• Livin' Suede
• Mighty Careful Steppin' (and the Mountain Strings)

Your turn! Hit me up with some band names, people. Also, if you play a musical instrument, let me know. Why bother waiting around for someone else to use our great names when we could just start our own band? I play piano and air guitar.

P.S. I guess Rock Band and Guitar Hero give us the opportunity to use these names now, so I take back the part about sharing them freely. Give me $10.

P.P.S. I have a boyfriend now! More on that story coming up next.