This week has been out to get me. The fan on my server (Rachelskirts.com is hosted twenty feet from my bedroom) is about to explode, so I'll skip the lengthy posts that are welling up inside of me and say this:

• We no longer own small weights, so I completed the first days of the 30 Day Shred using my Ugg boots instead. They're heavy-ish. Stop looking at me like that.
• Transcribing a four-hour ordination ceremony for a pastor will get you ten sore fingers, two free brownies, and twenty pastors asking about your Blue Snowball mic.
• Timmy Venture, my betta fish, is going to outlive us all.

To the person who ate all but one-eighth of the last donut and left the remains in a giant donut box in the staff break room:

Either eat the whole damn donut or step away from the break room, fatty. That is the single rudest thing you could ever do. I phoned Emily Post in the afterlife just to confirm that fact (not that you even know who she is), and she promised to start working on a new level of Hell just for you, complete with infinite mirages of whole, gourmet donuts which you can neither eat nor maim.

Peace, hugs, and kittens,
Rachelskirts

The title of this blog entry is stolen from a t-shirt that I dug out of the back of my closet today. My friend Danielpants (the very same one who dubbed me Rachelskirts many moons ago) gave it to me in May, but I really didn't appreciate just how perfect it was until this evening, as I was prancing around in my underwear trying to find something to wear for day three of the 30 Day Shred.

I couldn't find any clean t-shirts because I haven't done laundry in decades. The light to my closet was also broken, so whatever was clean got stolen by the lonely closet monster, Elliot Frankenpants. My bedroom was freezing cold, and I was in no mood to fix the light because I already spent three hours today helping the copier repair man fix the copier at the office. On my day off. Because my office computer was broken anyway. And I woke up late.

So just as I was running out of obscenities to whisper into the darkness of my frigid closet, I found this shirt and laughed myself back into a good mood. Yes, today was a prime day to end all of my tweets with #stabstabstab, but my hair did look great, and I managed to shave my legs IN NOVEMBER. Also, I haven't yet failed on my 30 Day Shred challenge or my NaBloPoMo challenge. I get to hang out with gRegor and Suzi this weekend. My fingers and toes are all present and accounted for, my bank account is not empty, my cat is still alive, and I LIKE CEREAL.

There you have it. I have great friends and great shirts and great closet monsters and a great life. You?