The old copier repair man never met a problem he couldn't solve, and he was generous with information that made me a better customer and a better designer. He taught me how to work with the machine to get the results I wanted, and he praised me for being willing to learn how to care for a printer. He took up far too much of my time, but I never really minded. A year ago, I was among the first people he told when he decided to move out of state to be closer to family.

The new copier repair man smells like a combination of Pine-Sol and cigarette smoke, a scent that invades my personal space even more often than he does. He laughs nervously at all the wrong times and has never once fixed a problem the first go-round. But worst of all, he is condescending when he explains to me how toner fuses with the paper, what toner is, and what paper is. "Well, 24-pound paper is very different from 20-pound paper when it goes through the machine, you know."

I smile at him as I wonder which paper gives the best paper cuts.

When I watched Bewitched as a child, I thought Darrin had the coolest job. I was smitten with the influential power of advertising, and I've been critiquing billboards and television commercials and brochures and the like ever since. It's why I majored in marketing in college, and it's how I became the "communications specialist" at my church. If I ever find out that Bewitched wasn't a secret, brilliant, pro-advertising campaign by some real-life Don Draper of the late '60s, I will be utterly heartbroken.

The app that I use as my alarm clock and to track my sleep also allows me to monitor what my mood is when I wake up—mad face, meh face, or happy face—and I don't think I have ever once selected the happy face. I'm sure there's a motivational poster out there that wants me to believe that I need to change my job or get a boyfriend or drink more green tea because then I'll love waking up every day. But if you asked me to take that same poll at three in the afternoon, I'd totally vote for the happy face.

I simply don't like mornings.

(But I wouldn't mind some tea, if you're offering.)