Open Mouth, Insert Foot
My coworker was recently teasing a baby who was trying in vain to put her chubby baby foot in her tiny baby mouth. Another coworker walked by and made a comment about that not being as difficult as it looked, which made the first coworker scoff. A guffaw was also possibly involved.
Meanwhile, I looked up from my desk and squeaked. My mouth was trying to say, "No, seriously. You can't get your foot to your mouth? Watch this!" while my brain was trying to say, "That is a question that you don't want to ask and that you don't really want answered. Shut up, shut up, shut up!" All that came out was the squeak, which thankfully went unnoticed.
So anyway, note to self: you almost had to demonstrate your ability to put your foot in your mouth.* In the church office. Where you are paid to at least pretend to be a professional and/or a grown-up. Let's try to avoid repeating that in the future, kk?
*Ooo baby, that pun was most definitely intended.