Things in my life that are definitely not stressing me out:

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  • Finding out that I missed the first of my re- payments on a student loan and must come up with $1,000 in two weeks.
  • Being three weeks behind on Mad Libs Monday.
  • My room looking like the "we've made one hour of progress in getting her to talk about how she'd be willing to sort her socks" part of an episode of Hoarders.
  • The nail polish on my toes qualifying as "antique" and "in serious need of repair" and "ugh."
  • No money ever.
  • Not having any clean socks.
  • Being cold enough to need to put socks on my feet.
  • Realizing this list is a little foot-obsessed.
  • My eyelid twitching for three weeks straight.

NO, YOU ARE STRESSING OUT. IT'S MINE. IT'S A HUNDRED. SHUT IT OFF!