This blog is quickly digressing into an All Sock Monkeys, All the Time network, which initially worried me. After some thought, however, I realized that this could eventually lead to a really sweet legacy.

You all will be grandparents one day, swaying back and forth on your rocking chairs, watching the grandchildren play with their stuffed animals. This will spark fond old memories, and someone will sigh, "Remember that girl who became a professional sock monkey blogger? Rachelskirts? Man, she was fantastic."

One of you will play the role of the cranky old man, muttering under your breath, "Pfft. Lazy whore! Everyone only liked her because of the sock monkeys."

I will lean over and bop you on the head, screeching, "Finnigan! I'm right here! For heaven's sake. Some days, I wonder why I married you."

We will all chuckle, and then the grandchildren will glare at us and tell us to get back to watching Matlock.

P.S. Anyone want to audition for the part of Finnigan? Because for realz, I talk about sock monkeys all the gosh dang time, and I'm still single. The universe is a cruel, cruel place.