My desk belonged to Mary Poppins in a previous life.

Things I found in the course of cleaning out my desk drawers:

• Two staplers. Not sure why.
• Four identical name tags from my days at Office Depot. I forgot them at home a lot.
• Four Hershey's bar wrappers.
• Two "fun-sized" candy bars of unknown origin. Presumably, they are part of my "emergency stash."
• Enough Post-It notes to mark every container of deli meat in the country.
• A receipt with the words "kikari takaramono" written on the back.
• A piece of hardware somehow linked to a piece of IKEA furniture.
• A ceramic bowl from my first year of college. Back before I started splurging on disposable bowls.
• Make-up that I must have shoved in the back of my drawer in June when strangers were last in my bedroom.
• Claritin that surprisingly doesn't expire until next year. I cannot remember the last time I bought Claritin.
• A certification card from the American Red Cross saying that I had passed the first level of swimming lessons. In June of 1997.
• Two leather daily planners. One Lord of the Rings-themed daily planner.
• A kick-ass watch with Patrick Star on the front. Probably from a cereal box, where all the best watches are born.
• A blueprint I copied from the local newspaper to use in The Sims.
• A Hotwheels car.
• Every item from Office Depot's catalogue.