I will probably always learn lessons the hard way. I am extremely stubborn and proud, so it is often difficult to get through to me by just saying, "Umm, Rachel, that sounds like a dumb idea." I try to avoid dumb ideas altogether, but as a human, I tend to gravitate toward them like Hungryskirts to Double Stuf Oreos. (If you also follow my Tumblr blog, then yes, I am on a very big Oreo kick right now and am probably gaining ten pounds a minute as we speak so please shut up about it and my run-on sentence.)

That said, I learned quite a few good lessons this week, many of them the hard way. First, never tell people that you cried while watching Elf with your family. These people will mock you until you cry again, and then they will mock you some more. (I'm looking at you, Ryan.) Second, making fun of someone whose wisdom teeth just got pulled is not as easy as it sounds. Once you run out of chipmunk material, there aren't many other places to go. I suppose that explains why oral surgeons don't dabble in stand-up on the weekends. Third, Timmy Venture will not clean his own fish bowl, no matter how many times I threaten to take away his fake plant friend. And last but not least, do not start a list without knowing where it is going because you often end up going out on a lame note and looking like a dolt.