I heard a story about a friend of a friend of a friend, a story that he and his wife are fans of The Lord of the Rings and talk about it so frequently that they use acronyms for the sake of efficiency. The example that was shared with me: "Lodder-roddick," which is how they pronounce LOTR: ROTK.

Say it out loud without shuddering. I dare you.

But it gets worse.

(Of course, I share this tale with all due respect, and if I ever get the chance, I intend to take these people out for a cup of hot chocolate and some grilled cheese sandwiches.)

The friend who told me about this beautiful and awful thing didn't know what the couple called the other two films. So naturally, we brainstormed for a while and came up with "Lodder-fodder" (LOTR: FOTR) and "Lodder-tot" (LOTR: TT), and that is why, if you listen closely tonight, you will be able to hear the ghost of Tolkien sobbing.