Get off the Road! Quick!

When I am queen, I will drive some sort of fancy automobile that will shout back at crazy ladies who yell "SLOW DOWN!" while waving their arms frantically in the middle of the street.

What will it shout?

1. Rachel is driving the speed limit, you loon!
2. Standing in the middle of the street is a really dumb way to send any message other than "hit me!"
3. Yelling at strangers is a really dumb way to send any message other than "I am a loon!"

This lovely ride of mine will obviously find a concise and witty way to say that, too, so I don't sound quite so much like a scolded child throwing a tantrum.

Man, the future is going to be great.