Employing pansies since 1978.

While perusing the job opportunities listed at Monster.com, I came across a position for a Home Depot call center. I think I've met my soulmate:

Physical Job Requirements: Most of the time is spent sitting in a comfortable position and there is frequent opportunity to move about. On rare occasions there may be a need to move or lift light articles.

I hope those are letter-size articles. The legal-size ones tend to give me papercuts.