Disintegrating

Captain's log, day two. Woke up to the sound of my own crying as I came to realize just how dreadfully old I am now. Fell out of bed and broke every bone in my crippled body. Disintegrated within seconds. This blog post is coming to you from heaven, and yes, the Wi-Fi is fantastic here.

"Do you feel older?" was the greeting I received this morning when I made it to the office—not dead, not even a little bit disintegrated. It was followed by many more such inquiries throughout the day because my coworkers are very loving and very excitable and very lacking in things worthy of that love and excitement. Thus, I find myself in need of a diversion. (#Legolas)

Normally, I would just poach an interesting topic from my Twitter feed and find a creative way to make it safe to discuss in a church office environment, but my Twitter feed has been nothing but dead celebrities and Markdown madness this week. I didn't anticipate the Internet letting me down, so I suppose it's convenient that I watched Lucky Number Slevin last night—the ultimate diversion handbook, starring Josh Hartnett and a towel and some really fantastic wallpaper. (No really, you know the wallpaper in a movie is truly stunning when it can draw your attention away from Josh Hartnett. I save at least one swoon for the wallpaper every time I watch the movie.)

Anyway, I guess I need to scrounge up some weapons, a love interest, and Bruce Willis before the weekend is over, so people will stop reminding me of my own mortality.