Skirtsville is not home to any great chefs. My mom doesn't cook. My dad doesn't cook. My brother doesn't cook. I'm doing well to put together a bowl of cereal in the morning in less than three tries. "Hell's Kitchen" is redundant to us.

Foods we have managed to mash together to form edible meals or snacks:

• Peanut butter and bagels
• Grape Nuts and raisins
• Ham and cherries
• Jelly and pancakes
• Cantaloupe and ice cream (pictured above)

Now, my brother and I did spend a lazy, summer day dipping a variety of foods in chocolate pudding, but no great recipes came from those adventures. (Note to you: Pickles and Doritos should stay far away from chocolate pudding.)

Being Culinarily Challenged doesn't usually bother me because, well, I live in Chicago. There are at least fifteen decent pizza joints within walking distance and just as many great pizzerias within a reasonable driving distance. I could live happily on a diet of cereal, pizza, and chocolate for the rest of my life.

However, it dawns on me that, should I end up back in Texas this fall, I will be one thousand miles away from edible pizza. I will be in a forsaken land of places like Pizza Warehouse and Pizzas 'R' Us, where "Chicago-style" translates to "thicker crust" or something equally stupid.

That said, I'm asking for any tips you may have on cooking. Favorite snack food that's easy to make? Easy dinner recipe that makes for great leftovers? Anything, people. (And zomg, yes, I know I can have Giordano's shipped anywhere in the United States. I already plan to do that at least once a semester.) Please help!

P.S. Title stolen from Sleeping Beauty, and, yes, I still want to change my name to Aurora. And marry a handsome prince. (Hopefully, he will be able to cook.)