Number of marriage proposals this month: 5
Number of boyfriends this year: 0
Number of calculators required to figure out how stupid that is: 42

Life is such a tease sometimes.

Because I'm too lazy for my normal Lazyskirts bullet-point cop-out of an entry, here is an obnoxiously hyphenated sentence followed by a quote from an IM conversation.

Me: So you are burnt, bruised, ignored, thirsty, and sick?
Him: sure, throw in "hungry" and I think you've got it.
Me: I can help with zero of those problems, so I will just set here and cluck my tongue like an old lady and coo "aww" when appropriate.
Me: (Awww)
Him: cluckerskirts
Him: It all seems so helpless, and I have no plan
Him: I'm a plane in the sunset, with nowhere to land
Him: And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
spend their time collapsing
Me: Cluckerskirts seems like the exact nickname I would have written across a jersey should I ever play football.

(I stand by that a week later, which means that I am pretty much destined to be the next NFL superstar.)

I wasn't too thrilled when my cell phone alarm clock went off in the middle of church during prayer, but at least it was playing "California" by Phantom Planet and not "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.

Note to self: buy more church-appropriate ringtones next time, stupidface!