Birds instinctively know to fly south for the winter and to get the hell out of there in spring. Humans, on the other hand, instinctively know:

• how to draw stick figures
• how to make a finger gun
• that farts and burps are funny
• that pirates are totally better than ninjas
• that peas were created to be launched by spoons
• that spoons were perhaps created to launch peas
• that woodchips or other ground cover at a playground should be referred to as "hot lava" and avoided at all costs
• and much, much more.

So would you give all that up in order to know how to fly and/or migrate? I just can't make up my mind.

My grandmother gave me this tree to plant when I was five or six years old. I was taller than it at the time, and we raced to new heights together. Unfortunately, I stopped at 5' 5.5", but this sucker just kept growing.

It got struck by lightning one year, and a huge portion of the tree was left lying in the road. My dad was supposed to patch up the tree, but he never did. "It's too late now, honey," he said when I shrieked at him. "The tree is going to die."

But here we are, three years later. I hope it outlives us all.

P.S. Really, I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of the leaves and the sky. I mean, the story is true and all, but who cares, right? Autumn is just too darn beautiful for its own good.

I voted for Juan Pedro as court jester and Royal Sock Monkey, Timmy Venture as financial secretary, and myself as queen. You?