I think I'm going to start making chat appointments when I'm using an instant messenger program. That way, I can talk to one person at a time for no longer than thirty minutes, and anyone else who wants to gab can leave a message after the beep. Trying to stretch my very limited wittiness across ten conversations at once is just too much for this old lady to handle. Plus, I really need a good excuse to force people to listen to hold music.

It might seem like a good idea to put off all your homework until the night before it's due, but when that time rolls around it will seem like a much better idea to fall asleep and never wake up.

In related news, Grannyskirts is apparently incapable of pulling all-nighters anymore. Getting old is lame.

My microeconomics class is a fun mix of students who don't want to learn and a professor who is way too good for the school. He has insanely high expectations, which means everyone else hates him while I completely adore him. Raising the bar means that I actually feel accomplished and successful when I get good grades, and if I had the time, I'd spin this into a rant about the declining education system and the lack of competition in schools and how ridiculous it is that my classmates don't know how to add, subtract, read, or write. However, that long-winded entry will have to wait for another day. Meanwhile, I found some great stuff scribbled in the margins of my notebook the other day, so I thought I'd share a few with you.

Proof that my professor rocks:

• "He was so thin, his pajamas only had one stripe."
• "If you haven't already learned this, you should know that you put chocolate syrup on any flavor ice cream."
• "My wife makes this amazing cream of spinach soup every year at Thanksgiving. It's like an angel peed on your tongue."

Proof that my classmates deserve to fail:

• "Did you do the homework?"
  "Dude, I sneezed in the library, and I split my lip!"
  "Whoa!"
• "So how are you doing in the class?"
  "I think I'm failing. He takes off all these points on the quizzes for stupid stuff. It makes me so salty, ya know? Man, I'm just so salty."

Most importantly, the professor makes that awesome I just knocked back a really strong alcoholic beverage face every time he takes a sip of Dr. Pepper, which never fails to be amusing. Man, college is a blast sometimes.

P.S. I have no clue what "I'm so salty!" means, but the kid kept saying it like he meant to say, "I'm so furious!" You kids and your slang.