Community College Chronicles: Part Two
Blonde hair. Greasy, but fashionably so. Messy, but purposefully so. Everything about you was screaming, "I'm trying very hard to look like I'm not trying very hard. Notice me! Don't notice me!"
I noticed you.
I heard you as you walked into the bathroom, shouting into your cell phone, "God, I need some pot!" I waited for you as dozens of other women entered the restroom after you and exited before you. I watched in confusion when you finally emerged thirty minutes later with a woman who must have been twice your age, calling out to her, "I love you, babe!" (She was wearing a dirty baseball cap and rumpled clothes; she appeared to spend her free time rolling in automotive fluids and cigarette butts. She loves you, too.) I flashed you a sad smile when I saw you being escorted by a campus security guard later in the day.
I noticed you, but I think I should have hugged you instead.
Community College Chronicles: Part One
You scratched your beard and asked your cell phone, "Where you at?" It did not answer. Meanwhile, I stared in wonder at your giant purple cargo pants and once again came to the sad conclusion that I am shopping in all the wrong stores.
Buried Treasure
I have a younger cousin who really enjoys sending forwards. Most of them have been circulating the internet for at least ten years, but now they're all written in Comic Sans with glittery images sprinkled all over the place. I was skimming that one about "I once knew a blonde who was so dumb" for the hundredth time, rolling my eyes. But then I came to the bottom of the email, which should have been labeled "a summary of what makes twelve-year-old girls hilarious." Behold all these glorious signatures:
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More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail!
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Be who you wanna be barbie girl :D I'm dumb and I'm proud of it. :P
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I AM THE KING OF PANCAKES... BEHOLD MY AWSOME PANCAKE POWER...............:D now u DeSeRvE PePpEr SpRaY In..... THE EYE ....its good for u..^^ not reaLLY
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Remember Shelia Rocks! <3
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-kATHLEEN zHANG
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The Dongster ROX and you know it!!!!
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RANDA'S AWSOME LIKE THAT
Oh, to be yOuNg AgAiN.